I am drummer in a rock band, and I have a real tough situation that only you can help me with. In November of last year we replaced our singer with this new girl from Van Nuys. She is really beautiful. Even better, she’s also very sweet and doesn’t have an attitude. Not three weeks after joining the band, she started dating the guitar player but they broke up a couple of weeks ago. It obviously wasn’t a nasty split-up with serious bad feelings, because she didn’t quit the group or anything.
The thing is, she started coming on to me last week, and I have to tell you, I am sorely tempted to take her up on it. I mean, this girl could be a fashion model or something. But I’m afraid if I start going with her it will make our guitarist jealous. He’s been my buddy for three years, and I don’t want to chance wrecking our friendship. And what if this girl turns out to be some kind of tramp? Help me, Trixie!
- Burbank Billy
Ms. Trixie has to set you straight on something before she shoulders the unenviable task of dealing with your dilemma. Why is it that when a guy plays hide the salami with anything in a dress, he’s a stud, but when a woman is sexually active, she’s a tramp? Answer me that to my satisfaction, and I’ll let you lick my boots for free. But I digress.
Let me tell you something: relationships and work mix well only rarely. It doesn’t matter if the job is a band or whatever. Unless you’ve got something really strong going on with that special somebody, the time will come when you’ll want to shove them headfirst into a foodprocessor. The fight could be at a rehearsal (if you’re lucky) or at a gig in front of an indeterminate number of strangers. (Of course, you might be able to sell it as part of the act, but it still won’t be fun to live through.)
Then there’s your buddy. Friends, good friends, are harder to come by than parking places in West Hollywood on Saturday night. If you want to stay buddies, steer clear of this woman like she’s Chernobyl. You don’t need it and your band certainly doesn’t. My advice would be to quietly tell her that you’re as flattered as if you’d been nominated for a Grammy, but No Thanks.
But ... I might be completely wrong and she could be your total soulmate sent to you from heaven above. You’ll have to be the judge of that, and you won’t find that out overnight. Is she worth the risk of maybe losing the band and/or your friend? Only you can answer that. If you’re really interested, talk with her and tell her what’s on your mind. That would be a good start.