I Was a Shameless Phone Slut

Copyright 1997 by Christine Beatty

(Originally published in webzine Postfeminist Playground in February, 1998)


Old hookers never die, they just... start doing phone sex. For that matter, young hookers do phone sex. And people who have never gone to bed with another person for money do phone sex. Anybody can do phone sex as long as they sound good and have a fertile imagination. It's one of the great jobs in the sex industry because it's perfectly legal and it's risk-free.

Mind you, the money is not as good as prostitution. Most hookers average between $50 and $250 per date, and unless you have a heinous drug habit or live in some place like Tiburon (or both), you can support yourself quite nicely on just a date or two per day. On the other hand, most phone workers only make in the neighborhood of five to ten bucks per call. Of course, a popular girl with a sexy voice who works for more than one agency can pull in a couple hundred on a real good day, but that is a lot of time on the phone.

One of the important differences between phone sex and prostitution is the requirements for success with the job. Obviously, in full-contact hooking the younger and prettier girls will be more popular with the guys. However, the woman working the phone is not judged by her appearance. Indeed, she can be an unwashed three hundred pound acne victim in her midforties with toxic halitosis and none of that matters to the customer as long as she sounds like a knockout. It also helps a lot if she has a versatile and filthy mind.

Working conditions are great, too. The fact that most agencies allow you to take calls at home means that you can lie around in your underwear and hook bonbons down your throat as you flip channels on the cable box if that is your inclination. You can also study for your midterms, read, do housework or, for that matter, churn out an article for the internet. And, a big plus for many people, you don't have to go to bed with strangers.

Let's face it, in an age of concern about safe sex and with the local crackdowns on prostitution, phone sex is a viable alternative for both sex workers and clients. There are many advantages for both sellers and buyers in this form of pleasure-for-money. You’re not in violation of any laws. You're not in danger of contracting any disease, of being assaulted or robbed, or of being photographed in the act. Hell, you don't even have to leave the comfort and security of your own bedroom. Furthermore, if you work for an agency you are isolated from the clients so that they never know your phone number. And while there is the missing element of person-to-person contact, that is not always a bad thing, especially from the sexworker point of view.

I got started when I saw an ad in the back of a local weekly paper. It said “Sexy Voices — Phone Fantasy Makers earn $$$ in your spare time at home.” Intrigued, I gave them a call. The phone was answered by a sweet, young-sounding woman to whom I related my history of sex work. I have a prodigious resume, I must admit.

As a hooker who ran her first sex ad in January of '86, I have talked with more horny men on the phone than most women ever will. But—most of these guys never came. At least, they never came over to my place. Guy after guy made a date with me—swore they were on their way over—and most of them never showed up. After a few weeks of talking to several dozen guys a day and hearing a few of them possibly flogging their lizards, I began to have a sneaking suspicion that most of my callers were masturbating to the sound of my voice. I'll never forget the call when I finally knew for sure that these guys were just using me: the guy practically came in my ear!

I finally understood what had been going on: these guys had been pud-pounding to the sound of my voice as I described what I looked like or what I would do to them . That guy had been the first one blatant enough to get off while I talked to him, or at least loud enough for me to hear it. And I realized he had really done me a favor. I began to be more careful and selective when talking with these guys, and I eventually started doing phone sex as well as hooking.

On the basis of that experience, the agency decided I was more than qualified and they hired me. Since then, three months ago, I have been taking several calls a week. (If I weren't so busy most evenings I'd be taking a lot more calls.) I have clients all over the country—just about every kind of guy imaginable. Just like hooking! And we talk about all kinds of sex, from the vanilla to the kinky.

The ease of the call depends directly on the guy. Sometimes they do the equivalent of just lying there, like they're waiting for it to be over, without participating in the call. Ten minutes seems like an hour with one of these duds. The good ones are the those who get into it, who know their own fantasies, who are not afraid to talk about them, and who help lead me through it all.

Generally I'll ask some thing like “What do you fantasize about?” or “What gets you off?” to get the guy started. From that point the call can go in two directions. Either he can tell me something like “I'm wearing lingeree right now and I want to be your little girl” which gives me plenty of material to work with, or he'll say “Oh, I don't know. I've never done this before” and that leaves me cold. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

The real problem with the second caller is that without any fantasy “parameters” I don't know what his limits are. This forces me to walk a thin line between bland sex that wouldn't even get a Catholic priest hot (and certainly not my caller) and kinky stuff that would embarrass perhaps  even sex educator Carol Queen. I work hard for fifty cents a minute!

Because I have quite a range in my voice, I am able to pose as a male as well as take transsexual calls. Most of my callers are men who want to talk to a hot, young guy named “Brad.” I often describe myself as a well-built dude in his midtwenties with light hair green eyes and who is nicely buffed from working out. I love it when I get one of these bi-curious guys worked up into fever pitch by wrapping them up in a fantasy of sucking my "cock" or getting fucked by me. I don't know why I have this streak of perversity, especially since the reality of having sex with a man doesn't appeal to me at all. But it is fun to talk about.

The pay ain't bad, either. My pay is determined by the amount of time I spend on the phone. I make a fixed amount for the “base” call of five, ten or fifteen minutes, plus 45 cents a minute for overtime. I also get an additional dollar when I'm requested by name and another dollar for taking a call after midnight. This works out to an average of five bucks a call, which usually lasts about ten minutes. That's not bad if I'm going to be home anyway, doing other productive things. Like writing this, for instance.

Unfortunately, this money is not tax-free, at least not at the agency I work for. They have my social security number that they verified with my other ID, and I have not one scrap of doubt that they'll file a 1099 form on me in January, reporting my gross income to the IRS. This aspect lends even more “legitimacy” to the profession of phone sex. Not only is the job legal, but the income is safely declarable. Now all I need is my own business card, “Christine Beatty, Phone Fantasy Maker.” Why not?

The best part is that I don't need to get ready for a client. I don't have to do my hair, put on makeup, or even get dressed for that matter. No strangers come over to my home, and I don't go to some house an hour's drive away where I might find a flake of major proportions. And, once again, I never have to worry about my safety. And, trust me, I have had concerns about that in the past.

All in all I like my new part time job. It's convenient, the money is worth my effort, and it can be fun sometimes. I would recommend doing phone sex to anyone who spends a fair amount of time near a phone and who wants to make some extra money. The most important elements are a sexy sounding voice and an active imagination. And if you can learn to give good phone, you too can make a tidy sum in your spare time.



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